Friday, November 17, 2006
When living life is an obligation
Dear fren,
it is with great concern that i write this. On your birthday, you had said that you live your life because of obligation. I do not understand. Although you have tried to explain to me your side of the story, I still cannot phantom why u feel this way.
Initially, I had thought it was due to the departure of a loved one. However, it does not seem to be the case as you have been feeling this way ever since you were born. Why is that? Has life really been that cruel to you? Have you really nothing to live for? As much as I partially understand your feelings due to your background, however, it's not like you have lived in very dire circumstances. You grew up with a family, who provided for you the best they can. They gave you a roof over your head, food to eat and provided for your schooling. Compared to others, given the circumstances, you are still considered to be quite fortunate.
Another greater question would be: to whom are you obligated to live for? It definitely does not seem to be for yourself. So, if this person leaves you, does that mean that you have no purpose on earth? What will you do then? Will you end your life?
Every person has a purpose in life. Be it whether they realise it or not. I sincerely hope that your's is just a case of finding out what your purpose is. Perhaps you should start helping out others by volunteering. You will come to realize that there are many out there who are in worse situations than yourself, but yet, they do not have such a bleak outlook in life like you do. Sometimes you have to help others in order to help yourself.
But more importantly, you should live life for yourself. Life is short. What do you wish to achieve in this lifetime? trust yourself and move on. Don't live in other's hopes, dreams and aspirations, for they will expire once that person dies. But if you live for yourself, you get greater satisfaction and clearer direction.
it is with great concern that i write this. On your birthday, you had said that you live your life because of obligation. I do not understand. Although you have tried to explain to me your side of the story, I still cannot phantom why u feel this way.
Initially, I had thought it was due to the departure of a loved one. However, it does not seem to be the case as you have been feeling this way ever since you were born. Why is that? Has life really been that cruel to you? Have you really nothing to live for? As much as I partially understand your feelings due to your background, however, it's not like you have lived in very dire circumstances. You grew up with a family, who provided for you the best they can. They gave you a roof over your head, food to eat and provided for your schooling. Compared to others, given the circumstances, you are still considered to be quite fortunate.
Another greater question would be: to whom are you obligated to live for? It definitely does not seem to be for yourself. So, if this person leaves you, does that mean that you have no purpose on earth? What will you do then? Will you end your life?
Every person has a purpose in life. Be it whether they realise it or not. I sincerely hope that your's is just a case of finding out what your purpose is. Perhaps you should start helping out others by volunteering. You will come to realize that there are many out there who are in worse situations than yourself, but yet, they do not have such a bleak outlook in life like you do. Sometimes you have to help others in order to help yourself.
But more importantly, you should live life for yourself. Life is short. What do you wish to achieve in this lifetime? trust yourself and move on. Don't live in other's hopes, dreams and aspirations, for they will expire once that person dies. But if you live for yourself, you get greater satisfaction and clearer direction.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
A Measure of Trust
How does one measure trust? How important is it to you? It's important to me, but no doubt it gets taken for granted sometimes. Was looking at some quotes and felt that the following ones struck a chord with me.
~ To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved
(once u have trust, you can be a great friend, business partner & associate, lover etc etc)
~ I am not upset that you lied to me. I am upset that from now on I can't believe in you
(This struck a very deep chord with me. Ever felt like you have been cheated and made used of?)
~ Trust is like a vase. Once it is broken, though you can fix it, it will never be the same again
(Yup.. it takes A LOT to rebuild trust. Both affected parties must make a lot of effort. One must be prepared to open themselves to hurt again; the other must make every effort not to betray the trust again. It's a bumpy road and in the end, it will never be the same)
~ The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be-and when they're not, we cry
(Hmm... we have expectations. And when things fall below our expectations, we feel disappointed, dun we? The higher the expectation, the more the disappointment)
~ You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough
(After all, no man is an island.... or rather... dun be a paranoid bitch)
~ The best proof of love is trust
~ When mistrust comes in, love goes out
(When you love someone, you give your all... trust included. Hence, when that someone betrays ur trust, that's when it hurts the most. It's like they never appreciated it or took it for granted.. and they just throw it back in ur face.. OUCH)
~ People who have given us their complete confidence believe that they have a right to ours. The inference is false, a gift confers no rights
(you may trust someone, but it is not reciprocal. That someone may not trust you!)
~ I've learnt to trust myself, to listen to truth, to not be afraid of it and not try and hide it
(the most important is to trust yourself. If you can't even have that... who else can you trust? When do you know when to heed that gut feel or spidey sense?)
~ To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved
(once u have trust, you can be a great friend, business partner & associate, lover etc etc)
~ I am not upset that you lied to me. I am upset that from now on I can't believe in you
(This struck a very deep chord with me. Ever felt like you have been cheated and made used of?)
~ Trust is like a vase. Once it is broken, though you can fix it, it will never be the same again
(Yup.. it takes A LOT to rebuild trust. Both affected parties must make a lot of effort. One must be prepared to open themselves to hurt again; the other must make every effort not to betray the trust again. It's a bumpy road and in the end, it will never be the same)
~ The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be-and when they're not, we cry
(Hmm... we have expectations. And when things fall below our expectations, we feel disappointed, dun we? The higher the expectation, the more the disappointment)
~ You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough
(After all, no man is an island.... or rather... dun be a paranoid bitch)
~ The best proof of love is trust
~ When mistrust comes in, love goes out
(When you love someone, you give your all... trust included. Hence, when that someone betrays ur trust, that's when it hurts the most. It's like they never appreciated it or took it for granted.. and they just throw it back in ur face.. OUCH)
~ People who have given us their complete confidence believe that they have a right to ours. The inference is false, a gift confers no rights
(you may trust someone, but it is not reciprocal. That someone may not trust you!)
~ I've learnt to trust myself, to listen to truth, to not be afraid of it and not try and hide it
(the most important is to trust yourself. If you can't even have that... who else can you trust? When do you know when to heed that gut feel or spidey sense?)
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Yet another weird dream
Sigh... just when u thought things can't get worse. To not be able to have proper sleep is bad enough... but to have what ever shred of sleep disrupted by a dream and u wake up even more tired? Sigh X 2
I was in the Amazing race with Kame. Yeah.. THE Amazing race (hey, it's my dream, let me fantasize yes?). We were at some sort of beach. Nice and blue, not far from civilization as there were buildings behind (think beach resorts etc). At that point of time, I was being briefed about the task at hand: I was supposed to swim out in open sea to a red buoy that was about 200m away to grab the clue on it. I remember thinking "piece of cake".
And then it happened. As I was about to jump in, I saw from far, a tidal wave. Wait, i stand corrected. More like a tsunami. It was 6-8 stories high and it was heading right towards the beach. Naturally, everyone started to scramble away. I specifically remember picking up Kame's red backpack (and at that point, i dunno where she went. Flirting with some hunky Cabana boy maybe? ha ha.. yes yes, I help others fantasize too). And i turned to see where the wave was. But there was no wave. Instead, what was supposed to be the foam of the surf, became a row of planes! Those world war 1 kinds, propeller powered etc. i remember cursing under my breath: WTF... did i really see wrongly? I swore it was a tidal wave!
But we were not out of the woods yet. The planes crashed into the buildings behind the beach. Mayhem ensued. Fire was everywhere. People were screaming. Shattered glass on the ground. Trucks were trying to clear the wreakage. And surprisingly, I was extremely calm. But an unsettling feeling made me turn towards the beach again. And out of the smoky fumes... i saw a Boeing. Jumbo Jet... 747. And it was flying real low. I could feel the strong draft as it flew by me... metres away. i was knocked to the ground. The Boeing crashed into the building. just like the rest of the planes.
At this point, Kame appears and takes the red backpack from me. She starts running towards the boeing wreakage, like the rest of the people around us. But for me, i turned and walked away. Away from the wreakage and mayhem and instead towards the open peaceful sea....
And that's when i woke up. Drat. What the hell is this dream supposed to mean? Too much mayhem in the world? After all... Tsunamis and plane crashes have happened somewhat recently. Chaos in my life? Sudden disruptions? Or a sign to just walk away? leave everything behind? It's not worth it? Why care for others? They can take care of themselves? God knows...
Black Adder asked me to just forget about it. It's just nothing... perhaps.
I was in the Amazing race with Kame. Yeah.. THE Amazing race (hey, it's my dream, let me fantasize yes?). We were at some sort of beach. Nice and blue, not far from civilization as there were buildings behind (think beach resorts etc). At that point of time, I was being briefed about the task at hand: I was supposed to swim out in open sea to a red buoy that was about 200m away to grab the clue on it. I remember thinking "piece of cake".
And then it happened. As I was about to jump in, I saw from far, a tidal wave. Wait, i stand corrected. More like a tsunami. It was 6-8 stories high and it was heading right towards the beach. Naturally, everyone started to scramble away. I specifically remember picking up Kame's red backpack (and at that point, i dunno where she went. Flirting with some hunky Cabana boy maybe? ha ha.. yes yes, I help others fantasize too). And i turned to see where the wave was. But there was no wave. Instead, what was supposed to be the foam of the surf, became a row of planes! Those world war 1 kinds, propeller powered etc. i remember cursing under my breath: WTF... did i really see wrongly? I swore it was a tidal wave!
But we were not out of the woods yet. The planes crashed into the buildings behind the beach. Mayhem ensued. Fire was everywhere. People were screaming. Shattered glass on the ground. Trucks were trying to clear the wreakage. And surprisingly, I was extremely calm. But an unsettling feeling made me turn towards the beach again. And out of the smoky fumes... i saw a Boeing. Jumbo Jet... 747. And it was flying real low. I could feel the strong draft as it flew by me... metres away. i was knocked to the ground. The Boeing crashed into the building. just like the rest of the planes.
At this point, Kame appears and takes the red backpack from me. She starts running towards the boeing wreakage, like the rest of the people around us. But for me, i turned and walked away. Away from the wreakage and mayhem and instead towards the open peaceful sea....
And that's when i woke up. Drat. What the hell is this dream supposed to mean? Too much mayhem in the world? After all... Tsunamis and plane crashes have happened somewhat recently. Chaos in my life? Sudden disruptions? Or a sign to just walk away? leave everything behind? It's not worth it? Why care for others? They can take care of themselves? God knows...
Black Adder asked me to just forget about it. It's just nothing... perhaps.
