Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Wedding March
Ah... everyone is familiar with the Wedding March. It is played at every wedding without fail, every time. And for the next year, beginning this Dec 08 to next Dec 09, I will be hearing a lot of it. Suddenly I am flanked by a lot of people getting hitched. Don't get me wrong, it's a great thing that they have found their other halves and are ready to settle down. But it is interesting to see the different takes on marriage.
And interesting it has been. Some just want to keep it simple, others want it grand. Makes me wonder about mine when the time comes. Grand route or the simple route? I'm pretty sure my dad would want the simple route (he once commented that a simple dinner with family is sufficient. He hates attending weddings so I guess mine is no exception!). But then the simple route will depend on who my other half is and his family.
There are pros and cons on grand and simple. Some couples believe in not spending a lot for the wedding (after all, it seems that holding a wedding these days, you are definitely not going to make back in ang pow what you spent) and would rather spend it on the honeymoon or renovations for the roost. The wedding is about the couple, so the money should be spent by them, whatever way they wish.
The grand route (the whole she-bang with dinner etc) isn't all bad. In fact, by doing the planning of the event, it's actually the first major test on the compatibility of the couple: How do they settle disagreements between families (this aunt doesn't want to sit with that aunt); how your potential spouse is really like (easy going or nit picking on details? How supportive is the husband?); How well do they plan things and discuss things? I have heard countless stories of couples who decided to tie the knot but then call it off because of wedding preparations. But in a good way, you rather find out more about your other half before the wedding actually takes place. In addition, once you get over this test, you know that you can handle other issues as a duo.
It is also a good way of getting in touch with your traditions - waking up at 3am auspicious time! Dong dong chiang!; i give you a pigs leg for your daughter! (bloody hell.. traded like meat). One friend told me that holding a wedding is to give women status. In a sense that, you tell others that you have married her to be your lawfully wedded wife. Yes, traditional, I know.
But to me, the most important part of the wedding are the vows. I do take that seriously. In sickness or in health, till death do us part. Getting married is supposed to be a life time commitment. So one had better think real hard before settling down. No doubt, divorce is always an option, but perhaps, it is because it is such an easy option that many just get married for that sake, with the thought that if it doesn't work out, just divorce lor... But if you had that thinking in the first place, that means you didn't really make the commitment. And that's what marriage is about isn't it? To be committed to each other. If not, why get married in the first place? Hell, I am not one to say (esp since I am not married).
Me? I just know that I better start saving soon. The couples may be singing to the tune of the Wedding March: "Here comes the bride, all dressed in white.... ". My tune's gonna be "Save up alright? You'll be pok kai...."
And interesting it has been. Some just want to keep it simple, others want it grand. Makes me wonder about mine when the time comes. Grand route or the simple route? I'm pretty sure my dad would want the simple route (he once commented that a simple dinner with family is sufficient. He hates attending weddings so I guess mine is no exception!). But then the simple route will depend on who my other half is and his family.
There are pros and cons on grand and simple. Some couples believe in not spending a lot for the wedding (after all, it seems that holding a wedding these days, you are definitely not going to make back in ang pow what you spent) and would rather spend it on the honeymoon or renovations for the roost. The wedding is about the couple, so the money should be spent by them, whatever way they wish.
The grand route (the whole she-bang with dinner etc) isn't all bad. In fact, by doing the planning of the event, it's actually the first major test on the compatibility of the couple: How do they settle disagreements between families (this aunt doesn't want to sit with that aunt); how your potential spouse is really like (easy going or nit picking on details? How supportive is the husband?); How well do they plan things and discuss things? I have heard countless stories of couples who decided to tie the knot but then call it off because of wedding preparations. But in a good way, you rather find out more about your other half before the wedding actually takes place. In addition, once you get over this test, you know that you can handle other issues as a duo.
It is also a good way of getting in touch with your traditions - waking up at 3am auspicious time! Dong dong chiang!; i give you a pigs leg for your daughter! (bloody hell.. traded like meat). One friend told me that holding a wedding is to give women status. In a sense that, you tell others that you have married her to be your lawfully wedded wife. Yes, traditional, I know.
But to me, the most important part of the wedding are the vows. I do take that seriously. In sickness or in health, till death do us part. Getting married is supposed to be a life time commitment. So one had better think real hard before settling down. No doubt, divorce is always an option, but perhaps, it is because it is such an easy option that many just get married for that sake, with the thought that if it doesn't work out, just divorce lor... But if you had that thinking in the first place, that means you didn't really make the commitment. And that's what marriage is about isn't it? To be committed to each other. If not, why get married in the first place? Hell, I am not one to say (esp since I am not married).
Me? I just know that I better start saving soon. The couples may be singing to the tune of the Wedding March: "Here comes the bride, all dressed in white.... ". My tune's gonna be "Save up alright? You'll be pok kai...."
