Sunday, September 11, 2005
My Life as of now
I've been quite easily irritated recently and I don't know why.
1) Lack of sleep? Maybe.. Feeling so tired and I don't know why
2) Work? Probably... is the daily grind getting to me?
3) Or just life in general? bored bored bored
Neko was saying how insignificant he was. Insignificant defined: Even if I died, no one gives a damn and I won't be missed. Am I famous? No one knows me. DC was writing something in his blog about what do you want in life?
I look at my life now, and ponder. Yup, mine is equally insignificant (as defined by Neko). No major milestones. I just completed my degree just so that I can be more competitive in the rat race. All the while, since young, it was driven into my head that education is important. That part was easy because the goals were well defined. Just make sure you get to the next level. It's like a game. Woo hoo! Each stage you passed is like a level up and increase in abilities (sorry, too much RPG influence here).
But what happens when you finish the quest? What next? At this current moment, I have no intention to level up again (in the form of Masters, I see no point right now). I am working, but for what? The only motivation for me to work is money, cos there are debts to be paid and expenses to survive. But other than that.. what else?
Kinda feel like Morpheus in Sandman. He had a quest of finding his items that were stolen from him. But once he found them and punished the perpetrators, he didn't know what to do. He too was lost and pondered about what next? But he decided to embark on yet another quest.
Should I embark on another quest? Should I take the risk? But here's the million dollar question: What is my next quest? Where should I start? What should I do? I guess that's what's been bothering me. I want to do something else but I don't know what. I guess it is fair to say that the majority of us have come to this crossroads before or will come to eventually. It's great if you find your calling and realize your passions and just go for it. But it's bad if u just keep pondering about what to do and stick to the same realm. I for one don't intend to keep pondering on what I am supposed to do.
And that's the thing. I am a Jack of all Trades but a master of none. I have no talent. And because I have no specific talent, I have no passion. With no passion, I won't get the satisfaction. That explains why i am feeling this way. Great.. I made some headway.. but it doesn't solve the big problem.
Looks like I have to ponder some more. ..
1) Lack of sleep? Maybe.. Feeling so tired and I don't know why
2) Work? Probably... is the daily grind getting to me?
3) Or just life in general? bored bored bored
Neko was saying how insignificant he was. Insignificant defined: Even if I died, no one gives a damn and I won't be missed. Am I famous? No one knows me. DC was writing something in his blog about what do you want in life?
I look at my life now, and ponder. Yup, mine is equally insignificant (as defined by Neko). No major milestones. I just completed my degree just so that I can be more competitive in the rat race. All the while, since young, it was driven into my head that education is important. That part was easy because the goals were well defined. Just make sure you get to the next level. It's like a game. Woo hoo! Each stage you passed is like a level up and increase in abilities (sorry, too much RPG influence here).
But what happens when you finish the quest? What next? At this current moment, I have no intention to level up again (in the form of Masters, I see no point right now). I am working, but for what? The only motivation for me to work is money, cos there are debts to be paid and expenses to survive. But other than that.. what else?
Kinda feel like Morpheus in Sandman. He had a quest of finding his items that were stolen from him. But once he found them and punished the perpetrators, he didn't know what to do. He too was lost and pondered about what next? But he decided to embark on yet another quest.
Should I embark on another quest? Should I take the risk? But here's the million dollar question: What is my next quest? Where should I start? What should I do? I guess that's what's been bothering me. I want to do something else but I don't know what. I guess it is fair to say that the majority of us have come to this crossroads before or will come to eventually. It's great if you find your calling and realize your passions and just go for it. But it's bad if u just keep pondering about what to do and stick to the same realm. I for one don't intend to keep pondering on what I am supposed to do.
And that's the thing. I am a Jack of all Trades but a master of none. I have no talent. And because I have no specific talent, I have no passion. With no passion, I won't get the satisfaction. That explains why i am feeling this way. Great.. I made some headway.. but it doesn't solve the big problem.
Looks like I have to ponder some more. ..
# posted by Xallista @ 2:10 PM 
