Monday, October 17, 2005
It doesn't pay to work hard
Can one be stressed without even knowing it? Hmm... Ok, why the question u must be asking? Well, of late, my body hasn't been in the best of shape. Insomnia, loss of appetite, constant stomach pains, nausea, chest pains and increased heart beats are just a few things that have been plaguing me. The insomnia is under control so far. Unfortunately, I am sad to admit, for a short period of time, I was relying on my cough mixture to get me to la la land (yeah.. the cough mixture was kickass... to the extent that I was still zonked out when I went to work). Ha ha ha. As for the rest, they come and go still. I still remember one night when I was about to sleep when my heart rate was pretty high. I could actually hear it. With my hand on my chest, I could feel it. And then it just stopped. I panicked. I thought I was having a heart attack. I thought I was going to die!!! Started reaching for my wrist and phew.. it was still there.. thank god!
I came across this article one day about 8 signs that u are stressed. Read through it and if what they say is true, then yeah, I am stressed. Here's the punchline - I don't feel stressed! I mean, this isn't the worst that I have been through. During my worst times at work, I was stressed. Sure, there's a lot of work to do, but it's manageable. So can I actually be stressed and not know it??? I have no idea... maybe I'm just desensitized to it?
And recently, I just learnt about something. The last time that my boss came in to SG, I was on MC. I was having flu and was even suspected of dengue. Nonetheless, I still went to the office after going to the doctors. And despite having a 2 day MC, I went back to work the next day. I thought everything was fine when they left. Until my manager told me that boss actually told him to be prepared for me to leave. Apparently boss noticed that I was taking a lot of MC. Coupled with the recent resignations over in the HQ, it seemed pretty likely to him that I would be leaving too. To him, the MC's were excuses for me to go over to other companies for interviews.
Quite frankly, I was shocked. Totally. The first thing that went through my head was... HAR? I am thankful that my manager stood up for me by reassuring my boss that i am not going for interviews or anything. But I'm still feeling disappointed. I mean, how would you feel if you put your best in working hard, making sure that everything is in place and then get accused of going for interviews? Cut me some slack. I am working almost 7 days a week, not getting enough sleep, handling way too many things... With lack of rest, of course I will fall sick. And you think I like going to doctor? Hell no! I have a problem taking medicine! But do they know all that?? No...
Sigh... motivation down the drain. Maybe it's time to make a self fulfilling prophecy come true.
I came across this article one day about 8 signs that u are stressed. Read through it and if what they say is true, then yeah, I am stressed. Here's the punchline - I don't feel stressed! I mean, this isn't the worst that I have been through. During my worst times at work, I was stressed. Sure, there's a lot of work to do, but it's manageable. So can I actually be stressed and not know it??? I have no idea... maybe I'm just desensitized to it?
And recently, I just learnt about something. The last time that my boss came in to SG, I was on MC. I was having flu and was even suspected of dengue. Nonetheless, I still went to the office after going to the doctors. And despite having a 2 day MC, I went back to work the next day. I thought everything was fine when they left. Until my manager told me that boss actually told him to be prepared for me to leave. Apparently boss noticed that I was taking a lot of MC. Coupled with the recent resignations over in the HQ, it seemed pretty likely to him that I would be leaving too. To him, the MC's were excuses for me to go over to other companies for interviews.
Quite frankly, I was shocked. Totally. The first thing that went through my head was... HAR? I am thankful that my manager stood up for me by reassuring my boss that i am not going for interviews or anything. But I'm still feeling disappointed. I mean, how would you feel if you put your best in working hard, making sure that everything is in place and then get accused of going for interviews? Cut me some slack. I am working almost 7 days a week, not getting enough sleep, handling way too many things... With lack of rest, of course I will fall sick. And you think I like going to doctor? Hell no! I have a problem taking medicine! But do they know all that?? No...
Sigh... motivation down the drain. Maybe it's time to make a self fulfilling prophecy come true.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Yet another year has passed
Wow... it's been a while since I did an entry in this blog... and a few events have happened. The most significant being me, turning a year older. Nothing fantastic, it's just another year older. But it made me realize that I am not getting any younger, and what do I want to achieve in life? Well... hmm... here's some ideals that I will try to make happen before I hit 30
1) to be able to earn a $5k monthly salary. That's really stretching it, but I will try!!!!)
2) Go to Japan and stay there for at least a month. I wanna see the sakura, take the hot spring baths and eat the food... mmmm....
3) Have my own business?
4) Be married with 2 kids?? Ha ha ha! Wait.. that'll clash with the Japan ideal... hmmm....
5) To finally have my own car... and I want a Lexus Coupe...! Hmm.. this will clash with my marriage plans! damn!
6) Be healthy... very important.
Off the cuff this is what I can think of.. there may be many others hidden subconsciously. Check back again in 10 years to find out what I want before i hit 40! :D
Oh yeah, and a school mate i know just got married. Unbelievable as it may sound, she went for an exchange trip, met a welsh guy, whirlwind romance of 4 months (I think? I know it was very short). Accepted his marriage proposal and wah lah! SHe's now moved to Wales. And the guy is a divorcee with a daughter. But looking at their pictures, they make very happy family. And she is younger than me! Gosh! but I am happy for her. It's times likes these that instincts kick in. And for that I am really envious of her.. :)
1) to be able to earn a $5k monthly salary. That's really stretching it, but I will try!!!!)
2) Go to Japan and stay there for at least a month. I wanna see the sakura, take the hot spring baths and eat the food... mmmm....
3) Have my own business?
4) Be married with 2 kids?? Ha ha ha! Wait.. that'll clash with the Japan ideal... hmmm....
5) To finally have my own car... and I want a Lexus Coupe...! Hmm.. this will clash with my marriage plans! damn!
6) Be healthy... very important.
Off the cuff this is what I can think of.. there may be many others hidden subconsciously. Check back again in 10 years to find out what I want before i hit 40! :D
Oh yeah, and a school mate i know just got married. Unbelievable as it may sound, she went for an exchange trip, met a welsh guy, whirlwind romance of 4 months (I think? I know it was very short). Accepted his marriage proposal and wah lah! SHe's now moved to Wales. And the guy is a divorcee with a daughter. But looking at their pictures, they make very happy family. And she is younger than me! Gosh! but I am happy for her. It's times likes these that instincts kick in. And for that I am really envious of her.. :)
