Monday, October 17, 2005
It doesn't pay to work hard
Can one be stressed without even knowing it? Hmm... Ok, why the question u must be asking? Well, of late, my body hasn't been in the best of shape. Insomnia, loss of appetite, constant stomach pains, nausea, chest pains and increased heart beats are just a few things that have been plaguing me. The insomnia is under control so far. Unfortunately, I am sad to admit, for a short period of time, I was relying on my cough mixture to get me to la la land (yeah.. the cough mixture was kickass... to the extent that I was still zonked out when I went to work). Ha ha ha. As for the rest, they come and go still. I still remember one night when I was about to sleep when my heart rate was pretty high. I could actually hear it. With my hand on my chest, I could feel it. And then it just stopped. I panicked. I thought I was having a heart attack. I thought I was going to die!!! Started reaching for my wrist and phew.. it was still there.. thank god!
I came across this article one day about 8 signs that u are stressed. Read through it and if what they say is true, then yeah, I am stressed. Here's the punchline - I don't feel stressed! I mean, this isn't the worst that I have been through. During my worst times at work, I was stressed. Sure, there's a lot of work to do, but it's manageable. So can I actually be stressed and not know it??? I have no idea... maybe I'm just desensitized to it?
And recently, I just learnt about something. The last time that my boss came in to SG, I was on MC. I was having flu and was even suspected of dengue. Nonetheless, I still went to the office after going to the doctors. And despite having a 2 day MC, I went back to work the next day. I thought everything was fine when they left. Until my manager told me that boss actually told him to be prepared for me to leave. Apparently boss noticed that I was taking a lot of MC. Coupled with the recent resignations over in the HQ, it seemed pretty likely to him that I would be leaving too. To him, the MC's were excuses for me to go over to other companies for interviews.
Quite frankly, I was shocked. Totally. The first thing that went through my head was... HAR? I am thankful that my manager stood up for me by reassuring my boss that i am not going for interviews or anything. But I'm still feeling disappointed. I mean, how would you feel if you put your best in working hard, making sure that everything is in place and then get accused of going for interviews? Cut me some slack. I am working almost 7 days a week, not getting enough sleep, handling way too many things... With lack of rest, of course I will fall sick. And you think I like going to doctor? Hell no! I have a problem taking medicine! But do they know all that?? No...
Sigh... motivation down the drain. Maybe it's time to make a self fulfilling prophecy come true.
I came across this article one day about 8 signs that u are stressed. Read through it and if what they say is true, then yeah, I am stressed. Here's the punchline - I don't feel stressed! I mean, this isn't the worst that I have been through. During my worst times at work, I was stressed. Sure, there's a lot of work to do, but it's manageable. So can I actually be stressed and not know it??? I have no idea... maybe I'm just desensitized to it?
And recently, I just learnt about something. The last time that my boss came in to SG, I was on MC. I was having flu and was even suspected of dengue. Nonetheless, I still went to the office after going to the doctors. And despite having a 2 day MC, I went back to work the next day. I thought everything was fine when they left. Until my manager told me that boss actually told him to be prepared for me to leave. Apparently boss noticed that I was taking a lot of MC. Coupled with the recent resignations over in the HQ, it seemed pretty likely to him that I would be leaving too. To him, the MC's were excuses for me to go over to other companies for interviews.
Quite frankly, I was shocked. Totally. The first thing that went through my head was... HAR? I am thankful that my manager stood up for me by reassuring my boss that i am not going for interviews or anything. But I'm still feeling disappointed. I mean, how would you feel if you put your best in working hard, making sure that everything is in place and then get accused of going for interviews? Cut me some slack. I am working almost 7 days a week, not getting enough sleep, handling way too many things... With lack of rest, of course I will fall sick. And you think I like going to doctor? Hell no! I have a problem taking medicine! But do they know all that?? No...
Sigh... motivation down the drain. Maybe it's time to make a self fulfilling prophecy come true.
# posted by Xallista @ 3:10 AM 
