Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Off Centre
Recently I have been feeling really weird. From the days leading up to the move till after the move, I know that I am not my usual self. I don't know why. It's a mixture of vunerability, sadness, depression, lethargy all rolled into one huge dust ball (pun intended).
The root of the problem? It's because I am losing my room. Corny as it may sound, I suddenly realised that I took my room for granted. Yeah. In the last 5 years I have been spending lesser and lesser time in my room (or home for that matter). Staying overnight in school for projects or at Other Half's place. My room became so foreign. I treated it more like a hotel to crash in. Most of my time was spent outdoors.
So with the move I had to let the room go. I didn't want to move. I didn't have a choice. Now the thought that the safe haven I once had is no longer going to be mine, kinda got to me. It's someone else's now. It also hurts to know that they will be completely changing it to what they like. It's like you lost your fortress and your enemy can do whatever they want to it.
My room also housed a lot of memories for me, good and bad. Good memories include the many times that my cuz and childhood friend spent over. Bad memories include the slamming of the door and sulking or crying when scolded by my Dad etc. The room may have been dusty (as evidenced by Other Half's allergic reaction) but it was comfortable (at least to me) and had all the amenities that I need. All I needed was a fridge full of junk food and I can happily live in there. Now all that familiarity is gone.
I guess this self reflecting period also led me to ask myself if I have been taking things for granted in other areas? Perhaps I have. Is it time to make sure that I won't regret it till it is too late? Funny how humans realize the real value of things only when they lose them.
Moving to the new place has also created new habits and resolutions for me (well, at least for the time being). The more important thing was to spend more time there. And one of the ways to make me do so, is to have a pet (well, you have to come back everyday to feed it). Broached the topic to Other Half and the idiot said that my maternal instincts were kicking in. Basket. Was thinking of having a Chinchilla. :) But then have to put it on hold. Parents have never been fond of pets...
The root of the problem? It's because I am losing my room. Corny as it may sound, I suddenly realised that I took my room for granted. Yeah. In the last 5 years I have been spending lesser and lesser time in my room (or home for that matter). Staying overnight in school for projects or at Other Half's place. My room became so foreign. I treated it more like a hotel to crash in. Most of my time was spent outdoors.
So with the move I had to let the room go. I didn't want to move. I didn't have a choice. Now the thought that the safe haven I once had is no longer going to be mine, kinda got to me. It's someone else's now. It also hurts to know that they will be completely changing it to what they like. It's like you lost your fortress and your enemy can do whatever they want to it.
My room also housed a lot of memories for me, good and bad. Good memories include the many times that my cuz and childhood friend spent over. Bad memories include the slamming of the door and sulking or crying when scolded by my Dad etc. The room may have been dusty (as evidenced by Other Half's allergic reaction) but it was comfortable (at least to me) and had all the amenities that I need. All I needed was a fridge full of junk food and I can happily live in there. Now all that familiarity is gone.
I guess this self reflecting period also led me to ask myself if I have been taking things for granted in other areas? Perhaps I have. Is it time to make sure that I won't regret it till it is too late? Funny how humans realize the real value of things only when they lose them.
Moving to the new place has also created new habits and resolutions for me (well, at least for the time being). The more important thing was to spend more time there. And one of the ways to make me do so, is to have a pet (well, you have to come back everyday to feed it). Broached the topic to Other Half and the idiot said that my maternal instincts were kicking in. Basket. Was thinking of having a Chinchilla. :) But then have to put it on hold. Parents have never been fond of pets...
# posted by Xallista @ 7:34 PM 
