Saturday, October 14, 2006
Reality Check
This week has been a week full of reality checks. Nothing kicks it off better than a death of a childhood friend. What makes it worse is the situation that he died. Freak accident. From what i hear among the chatter of the elders, he was helping out a friend that fateful day. As he was trying to open a barrel at the top of a container, he lost his footing and fell. Went into a coma and he never woke up. After 10 days, the family had to make the excrutiating decision of putting him off the respitory machine.
His parents hung out with my parents, and for that matter, Black Adder and Hyena's parents as well. Literally our parents whole ching gang. Everyone knew everyone, so we always met during the regular majong sessions that my parents held at our place every Sat night. The parents will be playing mahjong (trust me, it looked like a gambling den in those days with about 3 tables or more), while the kids self-entertained by jumping on the sofas, cycling around with bikes, playing with the beach ball etc. The usual.
Black Adder and I can never forget that particular occasion where we younger as kids, playing with the beach ball. Staying in a semi-detached house then, the beach ball we were playing with went over into the neighbour's garden. As we huddled to think of how to retrieve the ball (and at the same time think of a lame excuse to tell our parents), he being 8 years older than us, climbed the fence, jumped over, threw the ball back, clamoured back and gave the ball back to us. We were of course, needless to say, estatic (saved our asses and yet we can still play). On hindsight, Black Adder and I agreed that he was one of the first guy figures we looked up to (and of course secretly harboured a crush on).
And so it was extremely surreal to see his body in a coffin. What made it even more sad, was that he left behind 2 kids and his wife. Come to think of it... he did a Steve Irwin. At the wake, his children were running around, playing. I wonder if they understand what really happened to their Dad? As for his parents, the uncle and auntie who I always see, it was the first time that I saw them so aged and tired. They have always been jovial and friendly and they continued to be so at the wake. But despite their strong front, they can't seem to hide the fatigue. In a way, i know they must be relieved that he passed on, with no more suffering, but it's an extremely painful decision to make. To give up hope and in a way pulling the plug on your own son. To see him expire by the hour after he is taken off the machine, I feel that no parent should have to go through such a situation nor be made to make such a decision in the first place.
His sister seems to be more affected by the whole thing. She's also another childhood friend. I can tell she's been crying. And what makes it worse was: the day before the accident happened, he had asked her if she wanted to go shopping. She declined because she was tired. Who would have known that that would be the last she hear of him? And to see your own brother in a coffin... it's painful.
The second reality check came in the form of a financial advisor. I met up with him from a friend's recommendation. Interesting guy. The first financial advisor who cut to the chase, suan me like no one's business, and made me see a lot of contradictions in my life. He asked me a series of questions to get a better understanding of me... and he would counter me with other questions. Take for example, he asked me what do i think I would be 5 years from now? I said that preferably married with kids and living a comfortable life. Then along the way, i mentioned that i wanted to start my own business before I am 40. He literally jumped at me: are you sure? Assume that you are married 5 years from now, are u willing to take that risk? Will your family be willing to take that risk with you? That certainly made me rethink my priorities.
He also asked what's the greatest emergency to me? And after I answered that, it was to be struck down by a terminal illness or some sort of disability, he gave me a reality check on how much I have to spend should that happen to me (20k a month). And when I mentioned that i wanted to retire at 50, he asked how long do i think i would live? When i replied 65, he laughed and suaned me. The average female life expectancy for females has increased to 81 by the way.. so i was way off the meter. He questioned me: so would you rather be prudent and provide till u r 90? Or provide only till 65 and then pick up cardboard boxes for a living? Ouch. He also calculated how much i would need to retire at 50 (assuming I am single or a single mum), with inflation, future value etc etc... 24 mil! *faint*.
At the end of it all, I signed up for an insurance plan, also investment plans using my CPF and changed my medishield policy. No doubt the insurance plan is expensive, but after being at my friends wake, i know that should something happen to me, my family has something to fall back on. I do not want to be a burden to them. And as for my CPF, they're sitting in the bank earning minimal interest anyway. might as well make use of it.
So before you think I just got conned into another sales pitch, he's not pushy. He is not with any particular firm. He does a comparison of all the insurance plans, let's you know the pros and cons of each and u make the decision. And even when i told him that I have a sum of money i was thinking of investing, he told me not to. That sum of money should be for my own liquidity. So yeah, he's not all out to squeeze money out of me.
The third reality check concerns friends. When I was much younger, I did a lot of stuff for friends. A lot. Sometimes it seems like I was at their beck and call. And sometimes to the extent that my parents felt that i was being taken advantage of. They probably think I am silly for doing so much for people who don't seem to appreciate it. But that's just me. If you are my friend I will do the best I can for you. Those who are closest to me will know that. I dun need to specify what i do, cos they know. I have a great bunch of friends (*ahem* must put disclaimer wat). But somehow recently, that feeling of being taken advantage at my expense is creeping up again. I dunno why. Should I subscribe to the age old adage of: those who treat you well, treat them doubly well. Those who treat you badly, treat them twice as badly? i dunno... too tired to think. Maybe it's because the week hasn't been ideal. With work being a pain in the ass..... zzz
His parents hung out with my parents, and for that matter, Black Adder and Hyena's parents as well. Literally our parents whole ching gang. Everyone knew everyone, so we always met during the regular majong sessions that my parents held at our place every Sat night. The parents will be playing mahjong (trust me, it looked like a gambling den in those days with about 3 tables or more), while the kids self-entertained by jumping on the sofas, cycling around with bikes, playing with the beach ball etc. The usual.
Black Adder and I can never forget that particular occasion where we younger as kids, playing with the beach ball. Staying in a semi-detached house then, the beach ball we were playing with went over into the neighbour's garden. As we huddled to think of how to retrieve the ball (and at the same time think of a lame excuse to tell our parents), he being 8 years older than us, climbed the fence, jumped over, threw the ball back, clamoured back and gave the ball back to us. We were of course, needless to say, estatic (saved our asses and yet we can still play). On hindsight, Black Adder and I agreed that he was one of the first guy figures we looked up to (and of course secretly harboured a crush on).
And so it was extremely surreal to see his body in a coffin. What made it even more sad, was that he left behind 2 kids and his wife. Come to think of it... he did a Steve Irwin. At the wake, his children were running around, playing. I wonder if they understand what really happened to their Dad? As for his parents, the uncle and auntie who I always see, it was the first time that I saw them so aged and tired. They have always been jovial and friendly and they continued to be so at the wake. But despite their strong front, they can't seem to hide the fatigue. In a way, i know they must be relieved that he passed on, with no more suffering, but it's an extremely painful decision to make. To give up hope and in a way pulling the plug on your own son. To see him expire by the hour after he is taken off the machine, I feel that no parent should have to go through such a situation nor be made to make such a decision in the first place.
His sister seems to be more affected by the whole thing. She's also another childhood friend. I can tell she's been crying. And what makes it worse was: the day before the accident happened, he had asked her if she wanted to go shopping. She declined because she was tired. Who would have known that that would be the last she hear of him? And to see your own brother in a coffin... it's painful.
The second reality check came in the form of a financial advisor. I met up with him from a friend's recommendation. Interesting guy. The first financial advisor who cut to the chase, suan me like no one's business, and made me see a lot of contradictions in my life. He asked me a series of questions to get a better understanding of me... and he would counter me with other questions. Take for example, he asked me what do i think I would be 5 years from now? I said that preferably married with kids and living a comfortable life. Then along the way, i mentioned that i wanted to start my own business before I am 40. He literally jumped at me: are you sure? Assume that you are married 5 years from now, are u willing to take that risk? Will your family be willing to take that risk with you? That certainly made me rethink my priorities.
He also asked what's the greatest emergency to me? And after I answered that, it was to be struck down by a terminal illness or some sort of disability, he gave me a reality check on how much I have to spend should that happen to me (20k a month). And when I mentioned that i wanted to retire at 50, he asked how long do i think i would live? When i replied 65, he laughed and suaned me. The average female life expectancy for females has increased to 81 by the way.. so i was way off the meter. He questioned me: so would you rather be prudent and provide till u r 90? Or provide only till 65 and then pick up cardboard boxes for a living? Ouch. He also calculated how much i would need to retire at 50 (assuming I am single or a single mum), with inflation, future value etc etc... 24 mil! *faint*.
At the end of it all, I signed up for an insurance plan, also investment plans using my CPF and changed my medishield policy. No doubt the insurance plan is expensive, but after being at my friends wake, i know that should something happen to me, my family has something to fall back on. I do not want to be a burden to them. And as for my CPF, they're sitting in the bank earning minimal interest anyway. might as well make use of it.
So before you think I just got conned into another sales pitch, he's not pushy. He is not with any particular firm. He does a comparison of all the insurance plans, let's you know the pros and cons of each and u make the decision. And even when i told him that I have a sum of money i was thinking of investing, he told me not to. That sum of money should be for my own liquidity. So yeah, he's not all out to squeeze money out of me.
The third reality check concerns friends. When I was much younger, I did a lot of stuff for friends. A lot. Sometimes it seems like I was at their beck and call. And sometimes to the extent that my parents felt that i was being taken advantage of. They probably think I am silly for doing so much for people who don't seem to appreciate it. But that's just me. If you are my friend I will do the best I can for you. Those who are closest to me will know that. I dun need to specify what i do, cos they know. I have a great bunch of friends (*ahem* must put disclaimer wat). But somehow recently, that feeling of being taken advantage at my expense is creeping up again. I dunno why. Should I subscribe to the age old adage of: those who treat you well, treat them doubly well. Those who treat you badly, treat them twice as badly? i dunno... too tired to think. Maybe it's because the week hasn't been ideal. With work being a pain in the ass..... zzz
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
When your resolve is tested....
My resolve got tested today. And sadly.. I failed to restrain myself! I gave into temptation... I have no self discipline and will power, I caved into my weakness... sigh.... But it has been too long. Way too long..... And I needed it.... I finally started...... snacking on Cheetos!
Ok, quite drama... ha ha.. but when it comes to snacks, my favourite has always been Cheetos. Sadly, for some unknown reason, Cheetos got taken off the shelves all over SG, never to return again. I used to get my personal stash from the now defunct Liberty Market over at Plaza Singapura. Count how long ago Liberty Market has closed and you can imagine how long the cold spell has been (now u understand my desperation?). In between i had donations from kind friends who went overseas. Black Adder and I had even contemplated buying the stuff from ebay. No kidding. Our addiction runs deep.
So today, I met Black Adder for lunch. As we passed by the supermarket, Black Adder just disappeared! Before I could say WTH, I could only see her back view as she ran towards the supermarket. Yes! BLACK ADDER RAN! I chased up to a very speechless cousin, who could only start pointing to some snacks in excitement... Yup.. Black Adder the Cheetos detector... eagle-eyed her had already seen Chester Cheetah a mile away. Apparently the supermarket was having a USA imports promotion and they brought in 2 types of Cheetos: the puff and the twister.
Needless to say, we had an extremely quick lunch so that we can start shopping for the Cheetos... we bought enough to fill 2 baskets. I was pretty sure onlookers must be thinking we are either crazy.. or really desperate. But we had to buy more to ration throughout the months!!! And how desperate were we? Immediately after purchase, Black Adder opened the packet and started savouring it. She fed me one... and it tasted so good...... *bliss*
Unfortunately, the taste lingered on. Just from that one Cheetos. It affected me so badly that I couldn't function at work (seriously). My mind kept thinking about the Cheetos. And I kept looking at my purchases. And finally i caved in and opened one packet to snack on,orange fingers and all.
And now.. stock is running low... need to go get more... need to satisfy my craving...........
Ok, quite drama... ha ha.. but when it comes to snacks, my favourite has always been Cheetos. Sadly, for some unknown reason, Cheetos got taken off the shelves all over SG, never to return again. I used to get my personal stash from the now defunct Liberty Market over at Plaza Singapura. Count how long ago Liberty Market has closed and you can imagine how long the cold spell has been (now u understand my desperation?). In between i had donations from kind friends who went overseas. Black Adder and I had even contemplated buying the stuff from ebay. No kidding. Our addiction runs deep.
So today, I met Black Adder for lunch. As we passed by the supermarket, Black Adder just disappeared! Before I could say WTH, I could only see her back view as she ran towards the supermarket. Yes! BLACK ADDER RAN! I chased up to a very speechless cousin, who could only start pointing to some snacks in excitement... Yup.. Black Adder the Cheetos detector... eagle-eyed her had already seen Chester Cheetah a mile away. Apparently the supermarket was having a USA imports promotion and they brought in 2 types of Cheetos: the puff and the twister.
Needless to say, we had an extremely quick lunch so that we can start shopping for the Cheetos... we bought enough to fill 2 baskets. I was pretty sure onlookers must be thinking we are either crazy.. or really desperate. But we had to buy more to ration throughout the months!!! And how desperate were we? Immediately after purchase, Black Adder opened the packet and started savouring it. She fed me one... and it tasted so good...... *bliss*
Unfortunately, the taste lingered on. Just from that one Cheetos. It affected me so badly that I couldn't function at work (seriously). My mind kept thinking about the Cheetos. And I kept looking at my purchases. And finally i caved in and opened one packet to snack on,orange fingers and all.
And now.. stock is running low... need to go get more... need to satisfy my craving...........
Sunday, October 01, 2006
When looks are more important than Life
If u are as blown away as I was with the above statement, then congrats, you're normal. If you're not, please skip this entry and come back another day.
It happened over lunch on Saturday. My second aunt had come over to pay a visit. During the course of the lunch, she commented that my face was quite bad. Lately, I have been suffering from an acne outbreak. According to my facial therapist, it's apparently due to a food allergy. So for the past few weeks I have been doing process elmination and I am glad to say that I have narrowed it down to 2 things. But more about that on another day...
I told my aunt about the allergy thingy. And she commented that I must take care of my face blah blah blah. And that's when she made this comment (in Mandarin): your face is very important, more important than your life.
I was speechless... I mean... WTF??? My looks are more important than my life?? Immediately I retorted that I did not agree with her. I can have a scar on my face for all I care, but if guys are put off by it, so be it. I feel guys who feel that way are superficial. So the scar makes for a good test.
Later that night, while relating the incident to DC, he was telling me that there is an old Cantonese saying that goes exactly the same way. Perhaps my aunt had meant it that way, jokingly. But I certainly didn't feel so. I know I am not a looker. Looks wise, I'm average, and I know that there are many other gorgeous people out there. But i have other values, traits and hopefully virtues to make up for it. It's just a question of whether people are willing to go over the physical aspect and to get to know more about me.
And my life is short... If I am going to spend a whole lot of time obsessing about my looks, I don't think i have time for anything else...
If looks are more important than life... go for plastic surgery
It happened over lunch on Saturday. My second aunt had come over to pay a visit. During the course of the lunch, she commented that my face was quite bad. Lately, I have been suffering from an acne outbreak. According to my facial therapist, it's apparently due to a food allergy. So for the past few weeks I have been doing process elmination and I am glad to say that I have narrowed it down to 2 things. But more about that on another day...
I told my aunt about the allergy thingy. And she commented that I must take care of my face blah blah blah. And that's when she made this comment (in Mandarin): your face is very important, more important than your life.
I was speechless... I mean... WTF??? My looks are more important than my life?? Immediately I retorted that I did not agree with her. I can have a scar on my face for all I care, but if guys are put off by it, so be it. I feel guys who feel that way are superficial. So the scar makes for a good test.
Later that night, while relating the incident to DC, he was telling me that there is an old Cantonese saying that goes exactly the same way. Perhaps my aunt had meant it that way, jokingly. But I certainly didn't feel so. I know I am not a looker. Looks wise, I'm average, and I know that there are many other gorgeous people out there. But i have other values, traits and hopefully virtues to make up for it. It's just a question of whether people are willing to go over the physical aspect and to get to know more about me.
And my life is short... If I am going to spend a whole lot of time obsessing about my looks, I don't think i have time for anything else...
If looks are more important than life... go for plastic surgery
