Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Off Centre
Recently I have been feeling really weird. From the days leading up to the move till after the move, I know that I am not my usual self. I don't know why. It's a mixture of vunerability, sadness, depression, lethargy all rolled into one huge dust ball (pun intended).
The root of the problem? It's because I am losing my room. Corny as it may sound, I suddenly realised that I took my room for granted. Yeah. In the last 5 years I have been spending lesser and lesser time in my room (or home for that matter). Staying overnight in school for projects or at Other Half's place. My room became so foreign. I treated it more like a hotel to crash in. Most of my time was spent outdoors.
So with the move I had to let the room go. I didn't want to move. I didn't have a choice. Now the thought that the safe haven I once had is no longer going to be mine, kinda got to me. It's someone else's now. It also hurts to know that they will be completely changing it to what they like. It's like you lost your fortress and your enemy can do whatever they want to it.
My room also housed a lot of memories for me, good and bad. Good memories include the many times that my cuz and childhood friend spent over. Bad memories include the slamming of the door and sulking or crying when scolded by my Dad etc. The room may have been dusty (as evidenced by Other Half's allergic reaction) but it was comfortable (at least to me) and had all the amenities that I need. All I needed was a fridge full of junk food and I can happily live in there. Now all that familiarity is gone.
I guess this self reflecting period also led me to ask myself if I have been taking things for granted in other areas? Perhaps I have. Is it time to make sure that I won't regret it till it is too late? Funny how humans realize the real value of things only when they lose them.
Moving to the new place has also created new habits and resolutions for me (well, at least for the time being). The more important thing was to spend more time there. And one of the ways to make me do so, is to have a pet (well, you have to come back everyday to feed it). Broached the topic to Other Half and the idiot said that my maternal instincts were kicking in. Basket. Was thinking of having a Chinchilla. :) But then have to put it on hold. Parents have never been fond of pets...
The root of the problem? It's because I am losing my room. Corny as it may sound, I suddenly realised that I took my room for granted. Yeah. In the last 5 years I have been spending lesser and lesser time in my room (or home for that matter). Staying overnight in school for projects or at Other Half's place. My room became so foreign. I treated it more like a hotel to crash in. Most of my time was spent outdoors.
So with the move I had to let the room go. I didn't want to move. I didn't have a choice. Now the thought that the safe haven I once had is no longer going to be mine, kinda got to me. It's someone else's now. It also hurts to know that they will be completely changing it to what they like. It's like you lost your fortress and your enemy can do whatever they want to it.
My room also housed a lot of memories for me, good and bad. Good memories include the many times that my cuz and childhood friend spent over. Bad memories include the slamming of the door and sulking or crying when scolded by my Dad etc. The room may have been dusty (as evidenced by Other Half's allergic reaction) but it was comfortable (at least to me) and had all the amenities that I need. All I needed was a fridge full of junk food and I can happily live in there. Now all that familiarity is gone.
I guess this self reflecting period also led me to ask myself if I have been taking things for granted in other areas? Perhaps I have. Is it time to make sure that I won't regret it till it is too late? Funny how humans realize the real value of things only when they lose them.
Moving to the new place has also created new habits and resolutions for me (well, at least for the time being). The more important thing was to spend more time there. And one of the ways to make me do so, is to have a pet (well, you have to come back everyday to feed it). Broached the topic to Other Half and the idiot said that my maternal instincts were kicking in. Basket. Was thinking of having a Chinchilla. :) But then have to put it on hold. Parents have never been fond of pets...
Monday, November 21, 2005
Moving On....
I have been packing up my room for the past 2 weekends. In the midst of clearing things up, I actually had time to reflect on myself, the events that have happened in my life so far, memories etc. And in the process, remind myself to set certain resolutions (yeah, it ain't new year yet, but heck!).
For one, I realize that I am such a hoarder!!!! Feng Shui practitioners will probably say that I am a source of negative energy. I can almost hear them go "Tsk tsk, so much junk! So much negative energy, no new positive energy can come in. No wonder got no luck lah". I prefer to call myself a sentimentalist! Ha ha... I actually kept letters, Christmas cards, New year cards, birthday cards from all my friends from Secondary school days! All in a big black box! I even kept the Christmas cards that Kame drew (it always had a turtle somewhere). I read each and everyone of them (now u know why it's taking such a long time to clear just my room). I chanced upon a few cards from a crush from school... on hindsight, could he have had feelings for me and I didn't know it? He sent me Christmas cards and New Year cards for at least 3 years! Damn! Was it an opportunity lost? Oh well... kinda late for that. But if I had realized, I doubt my life would be like that now. It would've gone a totally different path.
I also took the opportunity to write down the return addresses of some of my ex-classmates. I am not sure if they are still living at the stated addresses now, but it is the only way to get connected again. No harm trying I guess.. I will probably begin my letter with: "Hi, I am looking for so-and-so. If u r not so-and-so, I'm sorry to disturb you, do you want to be friends? (kidding) If you are so-and-so, where have you been??? I would like to reconnect with you"
Other things I found include the O Level Papers for my year. I took a quick glance through them and concluded that I am getting dumber and dumber with each passing year... I couldn't phanthom the A Maths questions at all; was totally clueless with the Physics one; completely lost in the Literature one... you get my drift. I was just wondering: wow... I could actually answer all those questions in the past? Why am I such a moron now? What cemented that fact was another essay which I found. Apparently I wrote that when I was in poly and the subject was on Racial tolerance. And I was amazed at how I wrote. So different. So eloquent. So righteous. Wow... did I actually write all that???? What happened to that part of me? Well, all I can say is, people change as they grow. I believe I certainly did, in one way or another.
Also found my secondary school report book. In most of the comments from the form teacher it would go "She is capable of doing better", "there is room for improvement". That's neither good nor bad news. In a class, either you were extremely creative, well behaved, exceptional teacher's pet would you be remembered. On the flip side, you can be remembered as being extremely notorious. So I probably belonged to the middle majority. The kind that keeps a low profile. Because teachers probably can't remember much about you so they put that kind of statement. After all, everyone has room for improvement right?
Hmm.. another few more days and I will be moving. It's a mixture of excitement and sadness. Excitement because it's a new environment. It's also a good opportunity to create new habits (top on my list: to try keep everything in place). Then, there's that undeniable tinge of sadness as well. I have been living in this house for 17 years now. And it has been witness to a lot of my growing up. From Primary till Uni. A lot of things have happened. And I will have to let go a lot of things that I am familiar with. That's the sad part. That's probably one of the reasons why I haven't been able to sleep well too.
It's going to be yet another restless night....
For one, I realize that I am such a hoarder!!!! Feng Shui practitioners will probably say that I am a source of negative energy. I can almost hear them go "Tsk tsk, so much junk! So much negative energy, no new positive energy can come in. No wonder got no luck lah". I prefer to call myself a sentimentalist! Ha ha... I actually kept letters, Christmas cards, New year cards, birthday cards from all my friends from Secondary school days! All in a big black box! I even kept the Christmas cards that Kame drew (it always had a turtle somewhere). I read each and everyone of them (now u know why it's taking such a long time to clear just my room). I chanced upon a few cards from a crush from school... on hindsight, could he have had feelings for me and I didn't know it? He sent me Christmas cards and New Year cards for at least 3 years! Damn! Was it an opportunity lost? Oh well... kinda late for that. But if I had realized, I doubt my life would be like that now. It would've gone a totally different path.
I also took the opportunity to write down the return addresses of some of my ex-classmates. I am not sure if they are still living at the stated addresses now, but it is the only way to get connected again. No harm trying I guess.. I will probably begin my letter with: "Hi, I am looking for so-and-so. If u r not so-and-so, I'm sorry to disturb you, do you want to be friends? (kidding) If you are so-and-so, where have you been??? I would like to reconnect with you"
Other things I found include the O Level Papers for my year. I took a quick glance through them and concluded that I am getting dumber and dumber with each passing year... I couldn't phanthom the A Maths questions at all; was totally clueless with the Physics one; completely lost in the Literature one... you get my drift. I was just wondering: wow... I could actually answer all those questions in the past? Why am I such a moron now? What cemented that fact was another essay which I found. Apparently I wrote that when I was in poly and the subject was on Racial tolerance. And I was amazed at how I wrote. So different. So eloquent. So righteous. Wow... did I actually write all that???? What happened to that part of me? Well, all I can say is, people change as they grow. I believe I certainly did, in one way or another.
Also found my secondary school report book. In most of the comments from the form teacher it would go "She is capable of doing better", "there is room for improvement". That's neither good nor bad news. In a class, either you were extremely creative, well behaved, exceptional teacher's pet would you be remembered. On the flip side, you can be remembered as being extremely notorious. So I probably belonged to the middle majority. The kind that keeps a low profile. Because teachers probably can't remember much about you so they put that kind of statement. After all, everyone has room for improvement right?
Hmm.. another few more days and I will be moving. It's a mixture of excitement and sadness. Excitement because it's a new environment. It's also a good opportunity to create new habits (top on my list: to try keep everything in place). Then, there's that undeniable tinge of sadness as well. I have been living in this house for 17 years now. And it has been witness to a lot of my growing up. From Primary till Uni. A lot of things have happened. And I will have to let go a lot of things that I am familiar with. That's the sad part. That's probably one of the reasons why I haven't been able to sleep well too.
It's going to be yet another restless night....
Monday, November 07, 2005
A week of events
Woah! Has it been a while since I made an entry!But nothing much has been happening for the past 3 weeks except for work work and more work. But this week has been a flurry of activity though... Here's a summary:
Mon, 31 Oct: Super long work day. Already tired from the previous 2 nights of working... Day began with buying stuff for the promotion. Then it came to tallying the lots and packing the freakin van. Oh my goodness... the packing was horrendous with multiple trips up and down the stairs. i was so glad to get a parking spot near the office.. And the van was packed to the max till I couldn't even see the back!!! And mind you, the van was really old, with no power steering and it was huge (3L Nissan Urvan). And to make things worse, we were late and I had to drive through Little India... On the eve of Deepavali, that's a suicide mission! And true enough, I got into an accident. But thank goodness it wasn't major, I knocked off a poor chap's mirror casing... sigh... Things were ok for the rest of the night until the clock struck midnight, that's when the crowd got very very rowdy... We packed up at about 2pm and headed back to office. Only to get stuck in another Jam: it was halloween night and the road to our office was jammed. Not to mention that there was no parking space.. had to illegally park and start unloading all the stuff in the van. By the time that was done and I drove home and bathed and finally slept, it was 4am.. zzz
Tue, 1 Nov: My HK colleagues had come down to give us a hand in the Deepavali promotion and today was their time to return to HK. I only managed to get 7 hours sleep @_@ goodnesss... but I am glad the war is over (albeit temporarily). I can remember sitting at the back of my manager's car as we speed down the CTE to pick our HK colleagues from the hotel. Looking at the nice blue sky and wisps of white clouds, I felt surprisingly, peacefully serene. And for some unknown reason, I was happy. No worries, no burden, nada.. It felt as though I was in another country on holiday.. kinda like Australia :) Anyway, we picked them up, went for lunch and did a bit of shopping (one of them had a shopping list). Bought Ya Kun kaya at Raffles City, went to Lim Chee Guan for Bak Kwa and finally Pandan Chiffon cake in T1. They checked in real late though. By the time we reached the airport, it was 4pm and their flight was 4.30pm. I can still remember the counter staff asking them: " Hi! Checking early for the 6.30pm flight?". Upon realising that they were checking in for the 4.30pm flight, the poor gal's eyes opened real wide and she started saying hurry hurry! ha ha ha! Hilarious!This was followed by dinner at other half's place and we watched the super sappy love story: Crying out love in the centre of the world... boy...did it turn on the water works.
Wed, 2 Nov: Nothing much happened... it was a lo bo day.. ha ha ha ;p
Thurs, 3 Nov: Was bliss to wake up late...! ah~... went for lunch, then went to the new house to meet the contractor. New grills, new doors, new lights (for my room) are in order. Renovations are really minimal.. By the time that was done, we had to get ready for Dad's birthday dinner. After which met up with Kame for coffee... Hmm.. another wasted day. had wanted to start seriously packing my room..
Fri, 4 Nov: Highlight of the day (or rather night)? Me dressing up in a sari. Yeah... u did read correctly. Company dinner at night to thank all the promoters for helping out during the 3 days. Dinner was held at Muthu's Curry and dress code was Traditional costume. Manager made stupid dare with new colleague and I that if we dressed up, he would come in Indian traditional costume (original dare was that she dress up in sari and I in a very short skirt... I changed the rules.. ha ha ha). So yeah.. the Sari that i bought 8 years ago finally saw the light of day today. Hmm... I have to thank my colleague for dressing me up and providing all the necessary bangles, necklace and stuff, tips on how to walk etc. Although the make up she did on me could be pared down by a few notches... I felt it was too heavy... way too heavy.. I looked scary!!! it's like I was ready for a wayang show... nonetheless, went to the restaurant and everyone got a kick out of me wearing a sari... Although as the night progressed and a few jugs of beer later, it started to get a bit uncomfortable. The male promoters started sidling up to me to get a better view of my bareback (yeah.. the sari was bought during my young and wreakless days so it was quite.... revealing to say the least). Some of them said I looked like one of the actresses, others said that if they weren't married, they would ask for my hand in marriage.. One more said that he was very proud that I dressed up in the sari. Hmm.. way too much attention!! it was a welcome respite to get dressed out of the saree whe I returned to the office...
Sat, 5 Nov: Yet another busy day. First order of the day was to go shopping for a birthday gift. After which was to go to the birthday party. Then went to office, picked up the laptop, then went to visit one of my retailers to lend it to him. Then went to Carnivore! That was quite an experience! Ha ha ha.. meat meat and more meat... This Brazilian restaurant offers 15 different cuts of meat buffet style. You start off by getting some greens from the salad bar. That's the indication where they know that you are ready to be served. And the servers come by with a huge skewer of meat. They will let you know what kind of meat it is and it's up to you to decide whether you want to eat it or not. Alternatively, you can indicate your interested by flipping a coin like card. One side indicates that you want the meat, the other says no, you will pass. I thought it was particularly commendable that they remember what kinds of meat you don't eat. Hulktopher didn't eat Beef and Lamb and the servers remembered, offering him pork and chicken and always insisting that he take more that one piece to make up for all the other meat that he has missed. But the meat was succulent and delicious. The roasted pineapple was a good way to digest. And by the 8th serving of meat, I was stuffed. I had to share with kame certain servings of meat. But I highly recommend the Lamb... mmmmmmm....
We then adjourned for Karaoke! That was fun! Especially with such a huge group and everyone singing a variety of songs. Karaoke, to me, is a good opportunity to learn new songs form others, especially Mandarin ones! Unfortunately, due to my bad throat, I coraked most of the time... ha ha! Should go to this more often.
Sun, 6 Nov: Lunch at Rendesvouz hotel. Delicious curry, succulent rendang, tasty sambal brinjal, mouthwatering chicken curry, appetizing sayur lodeh... wah... nuff said! Ha ha ha. It is one of the must eat places!! Did a bit of shopping before going for the Lisa Ono Romance Latino concert. Other half and I were seated close enough to see her clearly (although I can't see her features). Her music is for easy listening and soon other half was tapping to her bossa nova songs (his first time listening to her). Her mellow voice was nice and the music was very expressive. Unfortunately, I felt that her guitar was overpowered by the other instruments (Piano, bass, drums and flute/saxaphone). I couldn't hear it when they were playing together. But when she did a few solo songs, it was very very clear. Another disappointing thing: she didn't know how to work the crowd. Unlike Laura Fygi who pleased the crowd with her banter, Lisa was very subdued. To the point that I could feel the awkward silence after she completed a sentence. I guess most of the crowd didn't know what to do next (Am I supposed to clap? Whistle as encouragement etc). But it reflects her introvert nature I guess? But as the concert progressed, she let her music do most of the talking. Earning her a standing ovation when she ended the encore with "The Girl from Ipanema". Was a worthwhile concert. :) And a nice way to end such a hectic week...
Mon, 31 Oct: Super long work day. Already tired from the previous 2 nights of working... Day began with buying stuff for the promotion. Then it came to tallying the lots and packing the freakin van. Oh my goodness... the packing was horrendous with multiple trips up and down the stairs. i was so glad to get a parking spot near the office.. And the van was packed to the max till I couldn't even see the back!!! And mind you, the van was really old, with no power steering and it was huge (3L Nissan Urvan). And to make things worse, we were late and I had to drive through Little India... On the eve of Deepavali, that's a suicide mission! And true enough, I got into an accident. But thank goodness it wasn't major, I knocked off a poor chap's mirror casing... sigh... Things were ok for the rest of the night until the clock struck midnight, that's when the crowd got very very rowdy... We packed up at about 2pm and headed back to office. Only to get stuck in another Jam: it was halloween night and the road to our office was jammed. Not to mention that there was no parking space.. had to illegally park and start unloading all the stuff in the van. By the time that was done and I drove home and bathed and finally slept, it was 4am.. zzz
Tue, 1 Nov: My HK colleagues had come down to give us a hand in the Deepavali promotion and today was their time to return to HK. I only managed to get 7 hours sleep @_@ goodnesss... but I am glad the war is over (albeit temporarily). I can remember sitting at the back of my manager's car as we speed down the CTE to pick our HK colleagues from the hotel. Looking at the nice blue sky and wisps of white clouds, I felt surprisingly, peacefully serene. And for some unknown reason, I was happy. No worries, no burden, nada.. It felt as though I was in another country on holiday.. kinda like Australia :) Anyway, we picked them up, went for lunch and did a bit of shopping (one of them had a shopping list). Bought Ya Kun kaya at Raffles City, went to Lim Chee Guan for Bak Kwa and finally Pandan Chiffon cake in T1. They checked in real late though. By the time we reached the airport, it was 4pm and their flight was 4.30pm. I can still remember the counter staff asking them: " Hi! Checking early for the 6.30pm flight?". Upon realising that they were checking in for the 4.30pm flight, the poor gal's eyes opened real wide and she started saying hurry hurry! ha ha ha! Hilarious!This was followed by dinner at other half's place and we watched the super sappy love story: Crying out love in the centre of the world... boy...did it turn on the water works.
Wed, 2 Nov: Nothing much happened... it was a lo bo day.. ha ha ha ;p
Thurs, 3 Nov: Was bliss to wake up late...! ah~... went for lunch, then went to the new house to meet the contractor. New grills, new doors, new lights (for my room) are in order. Renovations are really minimal.. By the time that was done, we had to get ready for Dad's birthday dinner. After which met up with Kame for coffee... Hmm.. another wasted day. had wanted to start seriously packing my room..
Fri, 4 Nov: Highlight of the day (or rather night)? Me dressing up in a sari. Yeah... u did read correctly. Company dinner at night to thank all the promoters for helping out during the 3 days. Dinner was held at Muthu's Curry and dress code was Traditional costume. Manager made stupid dare with new colleague and I that if we dressed up, he would come in Indian traditional costume (original dare was that she dress up in sari and I in a very short skirt... I changed the rules.. ha ha ha). So yeah.. the Sari that i bought 8 years ago finally saw the light of day today. Hmm... I have to thank my colleague for dressing me up and providing all the necessary bangles, necklace and stuff, tips on how to walk etc. Although the make up she did on me could be pared down by a few notches... I felt it was too heavy... way too heavy.. I looked scary!!! it's like I was ready for a wayang show... nonetheless, went to the restaurant and everyone got a kick out of me wearing a sari... Although as the night progressed and a few jugs of beer later, it started to get a bit uncomfortable. The male promoters started sidling up to me to get a better view of my bareback (yeah.. the sari was bought during my young and wreakless days so it was quite.... revealing to say the least). Some of them said I looked like one of the actresses, others said that if they weren't married, they would ask for my hand in marriage.. One more said that he was very proud that I dressed up in the sari. Hmm.. way too much attention!! it was a welcome respite to get dressed out of the saree whe I returned to the office...
Sat, 5 Nov: Yet another busy day. First order of the day was to go shopping for a birthday gift. After which was to go to the birthday party. Then went to office, picked up the laptop, then went to visit one of my retailers to lend it to him. Then went to Carnivore! That was quite an experience! Ha ha ha.. meat meat and more meat... This Brazilian restaurant offers 15 different cuts of meat buffet style. You start off by getting some greens from the salad bar. That's the indication where they know that you are ready to be served. And the servers come by with a huge skewer of meat. They will let you know what kind of meat it is and it's up to you to decide whether you want to eat it or not. Alternatively, you can indicate your interested by flipping a coin like card. One side indicates that you want the meat, the other says no, you will pass. I thought it was particularly commendable that they remember what kinds of meat you don't eat. Hulktopher didn't eat Beef and Lamb and the servers remembered, offering him pork and chicken and always insisting that he take more that one piece to make up for all the other meat that he has missed. But the meat was succulent and delicious. The roasted pineapple was a good way to digest. And by the 8th serving of meat, I was stuffed. I had to share with kame certain servings of meat. But I highly recommend the Lamb... mmmmmmm....
We then adjourned for Karaoke! That was fun! Especially with such a huge group and everyone singing a variety of songs. Karaoke, to me, is a good opportunity to learn new songs form others, especially Mandarin ones! Unfortunately, due to my bad throat, I coraked most of the time... ha ha! Should go to this more often.
Sun, 6 Nov: Lunch at Rendesvouz hotel. Delicious curry, succulent rendang, tasty sambal brinjal, mouthwatering chicken curry, appetizing sayur lodeh... wah... nuff said! Ha ha ha. It is one of the must eat places!! Did a bit of shopping before going for the Lisa Ono Romance Latino concert. Other half and I were seated close enough to see her clearly (although I can't see her features). Her music is for easy listening and soon other half was tapping to her bossa nova songs (his first time listening to her). Her mellow voice was nice and the music was very expressive. Unfortunately, I felt that her guitar was overpowered by the other instruments (Piano, bass, drums and flute/saxaphone). I couldn't hear it when they were playing together. But when she did a few solo songs, it was very very clear. Another disappointing thing: she didn't know how to work the crowd. Unlike Laura Fygi who pleased the crowd with her banter, Lisa was very subdued. To the point that I could feel the awkward silence after she completed a sentence. I guess most of the crowd didn't know what to do next (Am I supposed to clap? Whistle as encouragement etc). But it reflects her introvert nature I guess? But as the concert progressed, she let her music do most of the talking. Earning her a standing ovation when she ended the encore with "The Girl from Ipanema". Was a worthwhile concert. :) And a nice way to end such a hectic week...
